I have an old friend that I’ve known since I was six. B lived next door to me and I’ve known her so long that I don’t remember my life before her. When we were kids, B, my sister and I spent all of our free time together. We’d have sleepovers and freeze each others’ bras. We’d stay up all night listening the radio, playing Canasta and Sergeant Major (or 9-5-2 which is apparently called 8-5-3 in Britain…who knew?) We’d do each others’ make-up and talk about our latest boy crushes and just generally do other silly things that young girlfriends do.
One thing we’d talk about all the time is getting married – all three of us on the same day; a triple wedding, of course. Then we’d all get pregnant at the same time; we’d talk about names and how many kids we were going to have.
There was a house not far from where we lived. We used to walk by it all the time. It was a beautiful old Victorian and it was huge. We loved that house and we swore that we’d all live in it one day – yup, all of us, with all of our husbands and all of our kids.
That big, old, beautiful house was torn down along with a couple of others beside it. In the same space they squeezed in a ridiculous number of ugly townhouses; we all thought it was sad.
We all grew up and we all have partners and kids. Needless to say, we all live in separate houses.
I was talking to B and another friend a little while ago and we were reminiscing about our idea of living together in that big old house. And then we got to thinking…wouldn’t it be great if we all lived together? We could sell our houses, pool our resources and buy a house big enough for all of our families. Nobody would ever pay for childcare again. We’d share chores; each of us contributing in different way; all living together as one big happy family.
It would be wonderful for the kids. They would benefit immensely from other attachment parents and other kids all under one roof. We think it’s a brilliant idea.
But then reality sets in.
The logistics of it all are complicated. To buy a house in Toronto big enough for several families would be tricky; I mean, houses like that just aren’t built around here. And I can’t say that the Dads are on board with this idea; any mention of it gets a round of ‘second wife’ jokes out of my husband. (Umm no, that’s not quite what we had in mind.) And then we’d have to agree on where to live. And I think it would certainly be challenging organizing that many people in one home. And then there is each family’s need for a bit of personal space. And, and…I can think of several other reasons why it wouldn’t work.
But can I tell you something? If everyone agreed to it I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’d jump right in without a moment’s hesitation. And I think it would be amazing.