New Year’s resolutions. It’s that time of year.
Me? I always say that resolutions are bullshit. We think about them, make them, and then generally speaking, we forget about them a month or two into the year.
On the other hand, resolutions are also kind of important. Looking over my resolutions from the last five years or so is pretty interesting. Some are very familiar. Some I’d long forgotten. They are a gentle reminder for self-improvement, yet they’re also a subtle plea for self-acceptance. It is important to reflect; to think about personal goals and achievements. It’s also important to know who you are, to embrace your weaknesses as well as your strengths, and know that somewhere in there, there can be balance.
Whether I believe in them or not, I can’t stop myself from thinking about resolutions this time of year. So, somewhat sheepishly, here they are.
Taking better care of myself
Taking care of myself always seems to fall to the bottom of my list. I have this foot thing — some kind of fasciitis or tendonitis. It’s been bothering me for about 8 months now and it’s really slowing me down. (I feel stupid writing that down; 8 months is a long time to let something like this go). I’m resolving to get to the bottom of what it is and get it dealt with, whatever that may be.
I’ve also fallen off the wagon when it comes to exercise. This is classic me. I’m either all in, or completely out. I just cannot seem to fit exercise into my schedule consistently these days. I have to fix this. Have to. I am so much happier when I’m exercising regularly.
I love books – the feel, the smell. I love looking over my shelves of books, having piles of books on my bedside table, deciding what to read next, half-finished books everywhere. I used to think it was odd to have a bookshelf full of books, most of which I hadn’t read. But not anymore. I indulge in a significant book purchase a few times a year. I start many. I finish few. My interests and my mind jump from place to place as I flip through my beloved books. It’s a reflection of some part of me, and it’s a place where I can be this way (procrastinating, leaving things unfinished, constantly changing my mind) and it’s totally okay. I resolve to keep loving my books.
Blerg. I say this every year. There is little I find more satisfying than publishing a blog post. I don’t know why I don’t do it more often. I really don’t. Alas, my poor, neglected blog is like a good friend. Always there, never holds a grudge. I’ll come back to you one of these days, my old friend.
Being an advocate for my kids
At the end of 2013, my second son was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD, predominantly inattentive). I spent a lot of time and energy in 2014 advocating for him, and trying to make sure he gets the education he needs and deserves. It was utterly exhausting and at times, soul destroying. I’m still working up the courage to write about it.
The diagnosis still seems fresh and I’m learning to navigate the world of ADHD, the school system, peoples’ antiquated ideas about children and behaviour, ADHD deniers (I CANNOT handle them with grace. Yet.), our society’s fears and fucked up attitudes towards mental health and mental illness, and the mistreatment of those who suffer from mental health issues. I resolve to keep speaking out for my kids, not matter how much trouble it gets me into.
What about you? Do you make resolutions? Do you look back at resolutions from previous years?